Frank Ocean
confirms bisexuality
in heartfelt open letter:
‘I don’t have any secrets
I need kept anymore’
July 4, 2012
After rumors about his sexuality began circulating following a post on UK blog ThisIsMax, celebrated R&B crooner and Odd Future affiliate Frank Ocean addressed and confirmed them in an open letter posted on his own blog Wednesday morning.
In a July 2nd blog post detailing a recent listening event for Ocean’s upcoming channelORANGE album, blogger Max Akhtar wrote the following:
Frank has also opened up about his sexuality on the album, we think it’s brave and admire him for being so honest and sharing such a personal aspect of his life through his music. On the songs ‘Bad Religion’ ‘Pink Matter and ‘Forrest Gump’ you can hear him sing about being in love and there are quite obvious words used like ‘him’ and not ‘her’.
Her revelation sparked a roar of criticism and rumors around the blog world and Twittersphere, with many wondering whether Akhtar actually heard what she thought she did.
Early Wednesday morning, Ocean responded to the rumors by taking to his blog with a pair of posts. The first was simply a short note to introduce the second. It read, in part:
what i’m about to post is for anyone who cares to read. it was intended to fill the thank you’s section in my album credits, but with all the rumors going round.. i figured it’d be good to clarify..
The second is a long, heartfelt screed detailing the summer he found his first love in a male friend.
“4 summers ago, I met somebody. I was 19 years old. He was too. We spent that summer, and the summer after, together. Everyday almost,” he wrote. “By the time I realized I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless. There was no escaping, no negotiation with the feeling. No choice. It was my first love, it changed my life.”
The letter goes on to explain his emotions after telling his friend how he felt, only to find that those feelings were not mutual.
“I sat there and told my friend how I felt. I wept as the words left my mouth. I grieved for them, knowing I could never take them back for myself. He patted my back. He said kind things. He did his best. But he wouldn’t admit the same. … I felt like I’d only imagined reciprocity for years.”
Ocean ends the letter, which was intended for the channelORANGE liner notes, with a series of “thank-yous” and the declaration that he now feels “like a free man.”
Read the letter in full below:
Whoever you are, wherever you are, I’m beginning to think we’re a lot alike. Human beings spinning on blackness. All wanting to be seen, touched, heard, paid attention to. My loved ones are everything to me here. In the last year or 3 I’ve screamed at my creator. Screamed at clouds in the sky. For some explanation. Mercy maybe. For peace of mind to rain like manna somehow. 4 summers ago, I met somebody. I was 19 years old. He was too. We spent that summer, and the summer after, together. Everyday almost. And on the days we were together, time would glide. Most of the day I’d see him, and his smile. I’d hear his conversation and his silence … until it was time to sleep. Sleep I would often share with him. By the time I realized I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless. There was no escaping, no negotiation with the feeling. No choice. It was my first love, it changed my life.
Back then, my mind would wander to the women I had been with, the ones I cared for and thought I was in love with. I reminisced about the sentimental songs I enjoyed when I was a teenager … the ones I played when I experienced a girlfriend for the first time. I realized they were written in a language I did not yet speak. I realized too much, too quickly. Imagine being thrown from a plane. I wasn’t in a plane though. I was in a Nissan Maxima, the same car I packed up with bags and drove to Los Angeles in. I sat there and told my friend how I felt. I wept as the words left my mouth. I grieved for them, knowing I could never take them back for myself. He patted my back. He said kind things. He did his best. But he wouldn’t admit the same. He had to go back inside soon. It was late and his girlfriend was waiting for him upstairs. He wouldn’t tell me the truth about his feelings for me for another 3 years. I felt like I’d only imagined reciprocity for years. Now imagine being thrown from a cliff. No, I wasn’t on a cliff. I was still in my car telling myself it was gonna be fine and to take deep breaths. I took the breaths and carried on. I kept up a peculiar friendship with him because I couldn’t imagine keeping up my life without him. I struggled to master myself and my emotions. I wasn’t always successful.
The dance went on … I kept the rhythm for several summers after. It’s winter now. I’m typing this on a plane back to Los Angeles from New Orleans. I flew home for another marred Christmas. I have a windowseat. It’s December 27, 2011. By now I’ve written two albums, this being the second. I wrote to keep myself busy and sane. I wanted to create worlds that were rosier than mine. I tried to channel overwhelming emotions. I’m surprised at how far all of it has taken me. Before writing this I’d told some people my story. I’m sure these people kept me alive; kept me sane … sincerely, these are the folks I wanna thank from the floor of my heart. Everyone of you knows who you are … great humans, probably angels. I don’t know what happens now, and that’s alrite. I don’t have any secrets I need kept anymore. There’s probably some small shit still, but you know what I mean. I was never alone, as much as I felt like it … as much as I still do sometimes. I never was. I don’t think I ever could be. Thanks. To my first love. I’m grateful for you. Grateful that even though it wasn’t what I hoped for and even though it was never enough, it was. Some things never are … and we were. I won’t forget you. I won’t forget the summer. I’ll remember who I was when I met you. I’ll remember who you were and how we’ve both changed and stayed the same. I’ve never had more respect for life and living than I have right now. Maybe it takes a near death experience to feel alive. Thanks. To my mother, you raised me strong. I know I’m only brave because you were first … so thank you. All of you. For everything good. I feel like a free man. If I listen closely … I can hear the sky falling too.
- Frank
Ocean is the first member of the mainstream Hip-Hop/R&B community to freely and publicly admit his homosexuality. In June 2011, legendary New York DJ and radio personality Mr. Cee plead guilty to one charge of loitering for the purpose of engaging in a prostitution offense after his March arrest for being caught in a lewd sex act with a young man. Outside of some initial denials that the charge was true, though, Cee has never publicly addressed the issue or commented about his sexuality.
Since Ocean’s letter became public, dozens of fans, media personalities and celebrities have been showing their support via Twitter. The obvious question would be how his partners in Odd Future — a collective that counts an open lesbian among its members but is known and roundly criticized for its often homophobic lyrics — would react to the news. OFWGKTA frontman Tyler, The Creator is among the chorus of well-wishers, congratulating Ocean for his bravery in a way that only he can.
Take a look at some of the celebrity tweets below:
Fucking Finally Sus Boy @frank_ocean Hahahaha, You Still Aint Got No Bitches Hahaha My Nigga Dawg
My Big Brother Finally Fucking Did That. Proud Of That Nigga Cause I Know That Shit Is Difficult Or Whatever. Anyway. Im A Toilet.
Proud of frank.
big up frank ocean
ShotzOut to Frank Ocean...Embrace the love in you ✌
Good for Frank Ocean. Happy to see people accept him too. It's about time we started seeing some actual tolerance.
frank ocean is very important for the growth of humanity.
__________________________
Frank Ocean’s Independence Day:
R&B crooner comes out;
hip-hop community reacts
Frank Ocean performs onstage at the 2012 Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival held at The Empire Polo Field on April 13, 2012 in Indio, California. (Photo by Karl Walter/Getty Images for Coachella)
Soulful edge coupled with hip-hop sensibility; Frank Ocean has done what few R&B singers can, in that he straddles the line and appeals to women without alienating men. Since last year’s breakthroughNostalgia, Ultra, the crooner (and affiliate of rap’s motley crew Odd Future) has skyrocketed to collaborating with the likes of Jay-Z and Kanye West. He’s your favorite rapper’s favorite singer. Now, the man who reminisced about “the model broad with the Hollywood smile” in “Novacane” and lusted over a gorgeous stripper in “Pyramids” has come out and revealed a same-sex relationship he had as a teenager.
Frank posted the heartfelt confessional on his Tumblr early this morning in which he chronicles falling in love with another man. “Whoever you are, wherever you are..I’m starting to think we’re a lot alike,” the singer writes. The letter, entitled “thank you’s” details how feelings entangled as the other boy had a girlfriend. “He wouldn’t tell me the truth about his feelings for me for another 3 years,” Frank bemoans and then adds, “I couldn’t imagine keeping up my life without him.”
Ironically, this sadness was manifested in music; Frank created hypersexual, romantic verses because he “wanted to create worlds that were rosier” as a way of escapism. The poetic note ends with a feeling of manumission, as Frank no longer has to hide his secret. “I don’t’ have any secrets I need kept anymore…Thanks to my first love. I’m grateful for you. Grateful that even though it wasn’t what I hoped for and even though it was never enough, it was. Some things never are. And we were. I won’t forget you.” He thanks those who knew about his hidden feelings as well as his mother and closes, “I feel like a free man.”
“thank yous” follows a week of rumors in which Frank’s sexuality has been called into question. According to a post (that was first taken down and later amended) on the blog This Is Max, Ocean’s upcomingChannel Orange album contains lyrics that exemplify his bisexuality. Frank’s Tumblr outpouring was a direct response to this. “anyhow, what i’m about to post is for anyone who cares to read. it was intended to fill the thank you’s section in my album credits, but with all the rumors going round.. i figured it’d be good to clarify..” he counters in a post dubbed “BasedGod Was Right” (A reference to heterosexual rapper Lil B who named his album I’m Gay (I’m Happy) in 2011).
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Hip-hop is notorious for its homophobic ethos or the equally popular, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” mantra and has been largely mum thus far on Frank. This could be chalked up to genuine surprise or simply the fact that it’s difficult to craft a proper P.R.-friendly response over a national holiday.
Some celebrities though have been quick to laud Frank’s honesty and see this as a turning point in acceptance in hip-hop. “frank ocean is very important for the growth of humanity” tweeted Pittsburgh rapper Mac Miller while Hot 97 radio personality Miss Info shared, “As part of a hiphop collective,#frankocean has made a historic courageous move that’ll outlive any closeminded backlash.”
Saturday Night Live castmember Jay Pharoah encouraged fans to focus on the quality of the music and not on Ocean’s personal penchant, tweeting, “Frank Ocean is a great singer, nothing else should matter.” Meanwhile rapper Killer Mike cited the widely believed rumor that R&B legend Luther Vandross was secretly gay. “Really no big deal the Best R&B guy ever to me was Gay. #LongLiveLutherV!!!”
Tyler the Creator, head of the Odd Future collective and someone known to spout homophobic epithets (e.g. “I’m stabbing any blogging fa**ot hipster with a Pitchfork”), exuded the kind of uncomfortable support expected of him. “My Big Brother Finally F**king Did That. Proud Of That Ni**a Cause I Know That Shit Is Difficult Or Whatever. Anyway. Im A Toilet,” tweeted Tyler. He then added the jab of sorts, “AY B*TCHES, IMA START SINGING SO LIKE, ALL OF FRANKS B*TCHES CAN YOU COME OVER HERE AND LIKE HOLLA AT YA BOY.”
Comedian Lil Duval asked, “sooooo @frank_ocean are u gon be serenading men on stage? I just wanna know so I know when to go to the bathroom at yo show.” Joking or otherwise, Duval’s point is well taken, as this is the first time in memory that a male hip-hop artist has openly identified with having bisexual feelings. At the Coachella music festival this year, Frank performed the song “Forrest Gump” in which he sings about loving a boy, “You run my mind, boy. Running on my mind, boy.” At the time, this love ode was assumed to be from the perspective of a woman and no foul was called, but does that change now?
Perhaps the biggest question is how Frank’s newfound candor will permeate into his music and what that means for the bottom line. This could very well eradicate his audience and prove career suicide. But in an arena where keeping it real still has some semblance of merit, this emotional release could garner him a more universal fan base and in the vein of say, Lady Gaga or Nicki Minaj, catalyze Frank Ocean into a pop culture icon.
Sonya Krishnamurthy is a pop culture critic and host of MTV’s Hip Hop POV. Follow her at @SowmyaKor on TheSowmyaLife.
>via: http://thegrio.com/2012/07/04/frank-oceans-independence-day-rb-crooner-comes-...